the reason why people are so hard to read is because they are composed of the letters a, t, c, and g in random sequences and as im sure you know, that doesn’t spell anything
The only acceptable reason for this is if this character is actually a demon who seduces men and then eats them. [source]
who wrote this, expose him
my breasts are nicely separated. Completely divided, every year they move apart by half an inch.
My breasts are nicely separated though they still fight for custody of the children.
I,,a woman,,,am WiDeR LOweR dOwN
That was difficult to read.
So ugly
My name is Ebony D'arkness Dementia Raven Way, and my breasts are nicely separated
OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT AND HOW ON EARTH DID IT GET PUBLISHED
You can always tell when it’s a man writing a description because they focus oddly on the breasts. There will always be something about breasts and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read historical or fantasy fiction and they talk about “her breasts hanging freely under her tunic” or what the fuck ever and it’s like…women don’t do that? We don’t describe ourselves by saying “I have blonde hair and blue eyes and my breasts hang freely under my tunic”. I kind of feel like we should counter by awkwardly mentioning all male character’s balls in their description. It’s kind of in the same vein.
“I have auburn hair and hazel eyes and my copious nicely separated balls hangs freely under my breeches”
Just to expand on this post about calling 911 and asking for a pizza to secretly ask for help:
The post is based on a Super Bowl commercial, which itself was based on a Reddit post that’s never been verified as true.
There is no actual pizza code with toppings and shit that dispatchers are trained in. If you come across someone who has heard of the commercial, they might understand. If you come across someone who’s never heard of it, they might think it’s a prank call and hang up on you.
A piece of actual advice to help you in this situation is to dial 911, then hang up without speaking, then turn the phone off. 911 will attempt to call you back, and when they’re unable to reach you, they’ll dispatch a unit to your location under the assumption that you need help and your call was interrupted. This will work 100% of the time, whereas the pizza trick will only work if the dispatcher has heard of the commercial/urban legend.
Also, the toppings thing was a complete and total fabrication and whoever wrote that should be ashamed of themselves, tbh.
WRONG! WRONG! THIS IS WRONG!! *bangs pots and pans together*
PLEASE STOP SPREADING THIS YOU’RE GIVING THIS ACTUAL 911 DISPATCHER A HEART ATTACK!
WE GET HUNDREDS OF BUTT-DIALS AND HANGUP CALLS EVERY DAY!!
If it’s coming from a cell phone WE DON’T EVEN TRY TO CALL YOU BACK!!
If you do this YOU! *bang* WILL! *bang* DIE! *bang
GIVE US AN ADDRESS!!!! GIVE US AN ADDRESS AND A TOWNSHIP OR BOROUGH AND A NEARBY CROSS-STREET OR INTERSECTION! LET’S SEE AN EXAMPLE!
911: 911, where is your emergency?
You: I’m at 123 Main Street in Townville, and the nearest cross-street is Oak Street! *hangs up because axe-murderer is coming after them*
BAM. YOU JUST GOT HELP DISPATCHED. DISPATCHER HAS NO FRICKIN’ CLUE WHAT’S GOING ON BUT YOU GAVE AN ADDRESS AND THAT’S GOOD FOR AT LEAST ONE OFFICER. LET’S SEE ANOTHER EXAMPLE!
911: 911, where is your emergency?
You: *hangs up immediately to run from the axe-murderer and turns off your phone because you listened to some dumbass tumblr post*
DEAD.
YOU ARE DEAD.
NO HELP IS COMING.
GIVE 911 AN ADDRESS.
WE ARE NOT MAGIC GENIES WHO LOOK INTO OUR CRYSTAL BALLS TO PSYCHICALLY KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. HALF THE PEOPLE WORKING HERE JUST GOT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL, AND MOST ARE PLAYING GAMES ON THEIR PHONE IN BETWEEN CALLS. WE’RE BASICALLY JUST HIGHER-CLASS TELEMARKETERS. WE ARE NOT “”””””EXPERTS””””””. WE TYPE IN THE ADDRESS AND THE NATURE OF THE EVENT AND PRESS ENTER.
GIVE 911 AN ADDRESS AND STOP LISTENING TO DUMBASS TUMBLR POSTS THAT WILL GET YOU KILLED.
I keep seeing this and the pizza thing on my dash today and I was like ‘this all sounds like dangerous misinformation especially the turn off the phone thing, I wonder what my friend who’s a dispatcher thinks of this’ and now I have the answer.
PS cell phone tracking isn’t a precise thing in ANY event. If you turn off your CELL PHONE, which isn’t ATTACHED TO A LOCATION, how can anyone be sent to your location? Dispatchers don’t have access to your cell phone data, guys, they can’t find out quickly if at all where you are by ~*~tracing the call~*~. Later on when you’re found dead or when someone files a missing persons thing if police get a warrant for your cell data they’ll be able to find out what tower your 911 call transmitted from but…there’s an obvious flaw in this as a tactic for NOT GETTING HURT.
If you really feel like you can’t talk, do what Kat said above and just give your address. Not everybody is gonna intuit that your pizza order isn’t just a wrong number or a prank.
